[D11LA] Old Times

[Usagi Rei]

But she wasn't. Rei stared at her, anguished. In many ways, she was the same. But the differences were there, caused by the gaps in her memory and the passage of time. And, perhaps, the gaps in his memory too. Whether idolized or demonized, depending on how he was feeling, his memories of Yuria differed from the woman he saw now. Was that her fault, or his?

But he thought the Yuria he loved wouldn't leave him without a word. Not even to keep him safe.

"Maybe it would be easier if I didn't remember either. But I do." Rei said, his voice soft. It wasn't gentleness, rather that speaking was difficult. "And Yuria... you left." His voice trembled, just a little at that. He forgave her, but that didn't mean he didn't hurt anymore.

Reaching into his pocket, he brought out a handkerchief, offering it to her. "I still care for you very much. I'm going to do everything I can to help you. We just need to figure out what that is."

Over in the corner, Airi watched, little amber eyes concerned and confused, as her parents seemed so distraught...

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

As much as she felt like pushing away Rei, especially after learning where he stood on their relationship together. However, who else did she have left otherwise? Her head tried to fall back to somewhere else she could find comfort but found herself only meeting blank spaces. Parents, siblings, and former friends had been wiped clean from her mind. She had Nothing. A woman out of time with no time.

After a bit of hesitation, she reached out to the handkerchief and accepted it, dapping it in her cheeks. In a way, there was some strange consolation found in these tears, to have meaning in these faint memories she had.

"Something was after me, Rei, I had to go..." she murmured sadly, feeling already defeated as she repeated her reasoning from the other night. Their relationship had begun with so many secrets, it was still very much the same now. Was this what they were destined for?

Yuria took a pause to collect herself and looked at Rei with a slight glare, her eyes red and sore. "...Why do you even care then?"

[Usagi Rei]

Rei sighed, closing his eyes again. "I know." He said. His voice was heavy. Tired. There had been times where he'd imagined accusing her, telling her about all the pain he'd felt as a result of her leaving without a word. He knew the words would take like ashes in his mouth now. "I wish you'd... I wish things had gone differently." If she'd told him, would he have waited? Would they be embracing right now? Or would be be long dead, a victim of whatever was chasing her?

There was no changing the past, for better or for worse.

"Because." Rei's eyes opened, and he leaned a little closer to her. "I still care about you, very much. I won't abandon you. I won't stop trying to help you. That's all true, no matter what. No matter what else is between us. I'll use my contacts, my connections, whatever it takes." He made a vague helpless gesture with one hand as his imagination ran out.

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

Yuria shudders a pained breath as she looked back down, so that was it? She was momentarily distracted by Airi but unfortunately, that didn't help with matters at all. There was this knowledge that she was one-half of Airi's 'parent' yet this void of feelings she can't find in herself. That only brought more tears to her eyes, unable to find this joy she knew what someone might feel when seeing a loved one. Was that what Rei was feeling toward her? This void of attachment?

"Maybe..." She muttered, wondering what she did wrong and what could have gone differently. Anything that could have kept her with Rei. Airi, her songs, and much of the past...did she fail here? She caught herself wishing that the shadow monster caught up to her. If she couldn't have everything in her life, how much worse was oblivion?

...But what did she have in the last two years?

She reached again this time but her hand took grasp of Rei's hand rather possessively. There was clear desperation in her expression "...Don't leave me! Please! You can't leave me alone, it'll find me again..."

[Usagi Rei]

As it looked like things were starting to end, Rei had started to rise. He sat again as Yuria took his hand. Warm against hers, his hand was limp for a few moments, uncertain, until he turned it around to give her a little squeeze.

"Okay." Rei said, sitting, giving her a wan smile. "I'll stay. And I'll keep you safe." He looked at her, studying her lovely features. So many feelings... there was still some love there, to be sure. But also anger, and pain, and sadness. It wasn't a void, it was a cacophony, each feeling threatening to overwhelm the other. But right now, she needed him...

"Yuria..." Rei said, looking at her intently. "I need to know how this thing finds you. How you can hide. If you don't tell me, I can't protect you. And I'll be in danger, too." It was true. His feelings may have changed, but he'd still do what he could to save her.

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

The words gave her enough reassurance to ease herself from the edge of panic, especially when Rei gave her some indication that he would remain. At least, for the time being. She sniffed back some tears and nodded soundly. There was still the implication that he didn't love her anymore and their relationship was wholly undone but she just needed to have him here now, this strong desire for safety and stability. Her gaze went to Airi once more, wishing she could also find those in her as well.

"Okay...Okay..." She said as she worked her way to sharing something that could help her, and get Rei to stay potentially. Yuria would take a few sniffs before finding enough courage to spill a bit of the beans. "...I think this thing might be connected to my past in the Scorpion Clan, perhaps relating to my training. I might know me or maybe even someone I used to know. For a while, he had been chasing me based on my identity...it's why I couldn't stay with you for long, Rei."

[Usagi Rei]

You should have told me. The words came to mind, but without anger or sadness, or any force. What was done was done, and neither of them could change things. The only thing they could change was how to move forward.

Sighing, Rei managed to offer her a smile. "Okay." He said. "That's something. I'll look into it, see what I can find. Look over my old notes... after you first disappeared, I spent some time looking into that." His expression was a little strange as he said that. It was a memory of a time when he was most hurt... and a memory of a time when he undoubtedly still loved her.

He sighed. "Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything at all?" He smiled gently. "Then... maybe we can listen to some of your music for a bit? You and me and Airi?"

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

There was a pause in Yuria as she hesitated. Despite most of her past was largely erased from her mind, it wasn't entirely forgotten. It was cruel that perhaps that pleasant and meaningful memories were gone while some of the darker ones just managed to linger on in the recesses of her mind. Was she truly a different now? Did that mean the past was excused?

"...I don't think that the Scorpion Clan would appreciate having me linger around, Rei. I need to leave this world. I..." She bit her lip as she tried to find the words for it, taking a pained breath back. "I used to be an operative for them and I don't think they would like having me loose with no ties to them."

It was perhaps in another world where she hadn't had a shadow monster after her that she was still obligated to the Scorpion Clan despite being married in the Hare...operatives hardly find peace in a normal life.

[Usagi Rei]

Sighing, Rei nodded. "I thought that might be the case. I'd already begun looking into it, as a precaution. I'll see what I can do to expedite it. The Hare do have ways of getting agents offworld undetected. We can do it, I'm sure."

Tilting his head, he regarded her, not quite smiling, but with a gentle expression. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to go with you. And I expect that I'll still be assigned here, regardless. But I'll try." He wasn't sure what the future held for Yuria, or the two of them, but Rei felt he should see her safely into it, with as much comfort as could be managed. He owed her that much, and felt for her that much.

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

Yuria did a quick wipe of her eyes as she took a moment to collect herself, having stopped crying a few moments ago. Still, she was still a mess of emotions right now that would likely take perhaps several weeks to figure out, especially considering something that won't be sorted until her future had some stability. Even then...

She gave him a wide blink on the matter. "...A-and what are you doing to do here?!"

[Usagi Rei]

"The same thing I've been doing for the last three years, Yuria. I have my duties here. Remember, I was promoted to senior attaché just before we were married." Rei explained. Maybe that was something she would remember. Maybe not.

He raised his hands, a mix of placating and warding. "Let me bring over your things. I can stay here a while longer if you like, or when I bring them over..." Rei grimaced, gesturing helplessly again, the desire to do something thwarted. He wanted to help her, but all it seemed like they could do was hurt each other.

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

Admittedly, Yuria might have thought a bit selfishly with the question and have forgotten that Rei had duties elsewhere as a fully functioning member of the Hare Clan. This wasn't a blank in her memory in the slightest. "Oh...of course, Rei. Sorry, I'm just worried that you'll end up in trouble or something."

She murmured, perhaps putting the fear of him potentially leaving her for someone else under the rug. Her head shook as she wrestled with her herself, knowing that he had full opportunity to do that in the last few years and now she was clinging on to him with everything in her being. Why hasn't this need appeared until just now? Was it because she knew who she was losing now? "...Sorry about," she apologize and quickly pushed her hair back, feeling quite childish about this.

"...I'd like you to come back, yes." She nodded eagerly at the latter offer. It would be nice to have a reset, in a while. A part of her truly wished that it was a real reset, where they both forgot what happened here and took another stab at being together. It'll work out next time. She needed it to work out so badly...There was the dread in realizing that this was perhaps truly her fault was shuffled off quickly. If she started to blame herself, she might not recover from that. "Please, Rei. I'd love to see you again."

[Usagi Rei]

Rei had concurrent doubts. What if it wasn't her fault for leaving, but his fault for not finding her sooner? Maybe if he had, whatever was affecting her could have been stopped before it got this bad. "It's okay..." He said, gently shaking his head.

He smiled, although it didn't quite reach his eyes; so he averted them. "Of course, Yuria. I'll be back. First with your things, and then I'll visit you tomorrow, too." All true, but incomplete.

Slowly, he rose to his feet. Alerted to his movement, Airi came over. "Get some rest. Try to relax." Rei chewed his lip a moment. "Listen to your music. Maybe we can listen to it together, later." Maybe she could be helped? It was a distant hope, a distant dread. He'd already lost Yuria; might he recover her? But that would lose him Mariko, which also stung. It seemed more likely that by trying to hold onto both, he'd let both slip through his fingers.

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

"Good...good..." she murmured to herself in a bit of self-reassurance, taking one last dab of her eyes with the handkerchief. They were mostly dry now, although she still felt very much sore after the emotional ordeal, which was still present in her. She wasn't going to waste Rei's time consoling her, no matter how comforting it might feel to have him as close as the husband she wished she still had.

"Thank you, Rei, for everything. I'll get some rest, don't worry..." she said as she wasn't sure if she could sleep too easily tonight. It took a bit of effort from her to muster a smile to reassure him. "It'll be good to get some rest for once. To think it was really just waiting here for me."

Her gaze went around the room. There was a bed, an informator, the spine drake she parented, and Rei. However, she hadn't come home, it seemed. It was probably foolish on her part to consider this a place where she could truly rest or relax. However, she had stopped running away, at least. This was a part of her that wondered if she had run away so far that she had managed to run away from herself and never found the way back.

[Usagi Rei]

"Good. Good." Rei murmured softly, still watching her face, concerned. "You deserve some rest. And some safety. I'll see to that."

Slowly he rose, his expression thoughtful as he gathered up Airi, who hissed mildly in protest as he put her back in her carrier. He moved slowly, the depth of his thoughts inhibiting his body.

Finally, he turned to her, managing a gentle smile. "I'll be back as soon as I can with your things. Can I get you anything else? Anything at all?" There was a wistful note in his voice. As though perhaps he felt that getting her the right thing, a book or a bouquet of flowers, that things might be made alright between them.

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

Yuria casually watched as Airi was put back in the carrier and there was a pang of hurt in her heart once she was gone from sight. Perhaps not for Airi herself but the clear sense that Rei brought her in an earnest effort to make her feel better. The spine drake was cute but unfortunately, her emotions sideline her from spending him with the creature. There was very much some regret there.

She rose from the bed, wanting to see to him properly. Brushing some hair behind her ear, she presented a happy smile to show that everything was okay with her. "Uhm...I'd just like very much to see you again, Rei. That's more than enough for me. Maybe bring Airi again? I'd like to know her. Maybe I'll read up on taking care of her. Sorry, I guess I didn't know how to handle a spine drake. If that's too much, it's okay. But, I'd still very much like to see you again."

With that, she presented a quick bow to show her gratitude.

[Usagi Rei]

Rei smiled, a genuine smile. "Of course. I'll bring her tomorrow. And I actually just got a book about them. I'll drop it off with your things."

He hesitated a moment, and then walked slowly to the door. "See you soon. Yuria." Rei looked at her a long moment, then smiled. "I'm really glad you're okay." For a moment, it seemed like he might be about to say more. But then his smile flickered to a grimace, just for a moment, before switching back to a smile.

Giving a bow, Rei opened the door and departed.

/exit

[Boogiepop]

Usagi Yuria

"See you soon, Rei..." She said softly in return, a touch saddened that this meeting was ending. Her gaze would follow him and Airi until the moment he left.

Once he was gone, she would find herself back to the edge of her bed, dropping down unceremoniously back in her seat. She hunched forward and buried her face in her hands. That wasn't quite the homecoming that she expected. Her memories and sense of self were slowly eroding from the inside. It seemed that much was true from without as well, also something that seemed beyond her control. This was just the reality she had to come to terms with and perhaps take the sadness as a sign that she was still herself at the very least. Perhaps if this too were to ever become a void of emotion, she should really be scared for herself...

/scene