The day had been long, and wasn't close from over since the locals refused to live by Akodo's teachings. Kanna needed to clean up her body of the dirt of the day and to refuel her batteries in prevision of the night.

A trip to the bathhouse thus felt like the natural choice, and after a conscientious shower, she was now relaxing in the hot pool.

After some time, a woman in her thirties approaches the same bath, a faint red towel covering her body. Quietly, she sets the towel down and gets into the bath, greeting the Lion with a respectful bow as she does so.

"Samurai-san", she says in a soft, almost weak voice as she bows, her eyes lost somewhere in the distance. Then, focusing on her for a while. "Oh... excuse me for breaking the silence", she adds in an even lower voice. "It's a rare moment of calm, ne?", she says, then falls silent as if to enjoy it as well - although a dark cloud of sorts over her eyes suggests she can't quite relax.

The voice was unknown to Kanna. She squinted to fight the fog induced by the hot water and her lack of glasses, but what she managed to glimpse didn't help with identification either. She hadn't heard of any woman with an eye patch, and there was likely more than one in the World of Dreams anyway.

"Silence is like a cat samurai-sama: When you call its name it disappears."

She rolled her eyes at her own joke.

"You'll forgive me for that mom joke. I seem to have an endless reserve of them since my baby was born, and I've yet to learn how to rein them in.

Outside of my maternity, I'm Kitsu Kanna, from Ikoma press."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 13, 2022 11:27 am

The voice was unknown to Kanna. She squinted to fight the fog induced by the hot water and her lack of glasses, but what she managed to glimpse didn't help with identification either. She hadn't heard of any woman with an eye patch, and there was likely more than one in the World of Dreams anyway.

"Silence is like a cat samurai-sama: When you call its name it disappears."

She rolled her eyes at her own joke.

"You'll forgive me for that mom joke. I seem to have an endless reserve of them since my baby was born, and I've yet to learn how to rein them in.

Outside of my maternity, I'm Kitsu Kanna, from Ikoma press."

The woman lets out a soft chuckle. "That is actually a good and sweet one, Kitsu-san. I... wish I still could have mom jokes to share as well". Her voice almost crackles after the word mom, the wistfulness palpable in her tone.

"Soshi Kioku, from the Tsukune Sanctuary", she says as she bows politely, her voice soft and somewhat grave despite her efforts. Her voice does sound sincere and full of emotion as she says the next words.

"Congratulations on your child, Kitsu-san. It is an important occasion. I wish you and your child the best".

From her serious tone, she seems to speak from some sort of experience.... Most likely not a positive one.

"My apologies if my off-hand comment accidentally dug up bad memories. Such wasn't my intent."

She hesitated to drop the subject entirely, but that would have likely made the situation even weirder.

"And thanks. My little Maki is currently at home, demonstrating she's a healthy baby with powerful lungs under the care of her grandparents, while I'm working here and her soldier of a father is serving in the war. Will sadly be at least another month before I get to see her again with my own eyes. But duty is duty."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 13, 2022 7:41 pm

"My apologies if my off-hand comment accidentally dug up bad memories. Such wasn't my intent."

She hesitated to drop the subject entirely, but that would have likely made the situation even weirder.

"And thanks. My little Maki is currently at home, demonstrating she's a healthy baby with powerful lungs under the care of her grandparents, while I'm working here and her soldier of a father is serving in the war. Will sadly be at least another month before I get to see her again with my own eyes. But duty is duty."

The feeling seems to get tucked deeper underneath as the Kitsu speaks, a small smile blossoming on the Scorpion's lips.

"Oh, you couldn't bring your child to the World of Dreams, then?" She seems at the same time worried and relieved. "I certainly understand - duty is duty. But I do hope you and your husband get to spend more time with your child later. It's... way too easy to take some things for granted."

The smile widens slightly, maybe in an attempt at encouragement or support, although it is somewhat twisted by that underlying hurt.

"I... Thank you."

Deep breath.

"I understand what you're warning me against, at an intellectual level. And I truly appreciate the intention. But I fear that's not something my brain can truly conceptualize.

No, fear is not the right word. I'm actually happy I cannot truly imagine a world where my family isn't there any more. Because if I could, if I could feel that loss in my flesh and my soul, it would mean it already happened, that the loss is already part of my life. All the power of imagination cannot compare to the reality of such a tragedy, how it weights on the soul every day.

Suffering always comes with an extra layer of loneliness, doesn't it? Other people cannot truly understand your pain unless they've experienced the same pain themselves. But since you know firsthand how hard, how terrible, how eternal this suffering is, you do everything in your power to save others from that fate, hoping they might live uninteresting lives and never come to share your emotions."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Thu Apr 14, 2022 8:09 pm

"I... Thank you."

Deep breath.

"I understand what you're warning me against, at an intellectual level. And I truly appreciate the intention. But I fear that's not something my brain can truly conceptualize.

No, fear is not the right word. I'm actually happy I cannot truly imagine a world where my family isn't there any more. Because if I could, if I could feel that loss in my flesh and my soul, it would mean it already happened, that the loss is already part of my life. All the power of imagination cannot compare to the reality of such a tragedy, how it weights on the soul every day.

Suffering always comes with an extra layer of loneliness, doesn't it? Other people cannot truly understand your pain unless they've experienced the same pain themselves. But since you know firsthand how hard, how terrible, how eternal this suffering is, you do everything in your power to save others from that fate, hoping they might live uninteresting lives and never come to share your emotions."

She... does understand. Even saying she doesn't, she...

A pained, but thankful smile. "There is a reason 'living in interesting times' is meant as a curse, ne?", she says simply before nodding to the Kitsu.

"I... yes, Kitsu-san. If I could, I wouldn't have anyone suffer through the same thing. And... I don't know when or if that will finally heal."

A pained look, a long breath.

"I... sometimes I feel as if it were a festered wound hidden behind a scab. It feels as if it's finally starting to heal... and then it gets worse. There... I feel there should be something that could be done. But when I try to think of it, it gets worse."

Her gaze meets the Kitsu's for a moment.

"Your words... you seem to be no stranger to pain, Kitsu-san."

"I am Kitsu. My parents are priests. As a younger girl, I was trained as a miko and helped them arrange quite a few funerals. I've seen many, parents, children, friends, family, overwhelmed with grief.

Those who had it worst were whose who had lived when they felt the logical order of things would have been for them to be in the urn. The few survivors of an accident that had cost the life of many. The sickly whose rock had been defeated by disease. The grandparent outliving their grandchild.

I don't know if such grief can truly be healed in any capacity, or if it's something that can only be endured. That I know however is that there's no magic, of science, of the kami, or of words, that can simply take it away."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Fri Apr 15, 2022 1:29 pm

"I am Kitsu. My parents are priests. As a younger girl, I was trained as a miko and helped them arrange quite a few funerals. I've seen many, parents, children, friends, family, overwhelmed with grief.

Those who had it worst were whose who had lived when they felt the logical order of things would have been for them to be in the urn. The few survivors of an accident that had cost the life of many. The sickly whose rock had been defeated by disease. The grandparent outliving their grandchild.

I don't know if such grief can truly be healed in any capacity, or if it's something that can only be endured. That I know however is that there's no magic, of science, of the kami, or of words, that can simply take it away."

The woman nods, grave but thankful. "Those are very kind words, Kitsu-san. I'm glad for them... even if they do not, as you said, take the pain away."

Her eyes look down at the water for a moment. "That... reversal of the order of things. I suppose it comes as no surprise that it would have happened, with the Kinuran furnace accident." She shakes her head, slowly. "Still... one can't help but feel guilty. If she hadn't been there. If the research had been finished... if she had been able to walk out..."

She shakes her head again. ".... that's what hurts more. Thinking about what could have been, but hasn't." A small smile as she looks at the Kitsu again. "If there's any healing possible... it most certainly shouldn't lie in that directly, ne?" Another shake of her head. "And yet that's where one's mind takes off most often..."

"I don't think there's an easy answer to that question.

There's a peace to be found in forgetting what happened on that day. But only at the price of also forgetting the lessons that were learned in the hardest possible way. And I don't take you as a woman that would just choose oblivion over responsibility.

Maybe... Have you tried writing down or recording your testimony of the event? Affixing that recollection into a medium other than your own mind might help freeing your subconscious of feeling it has to repeat the scene again and again to make sure it's not forgotten. No magic there either, but maybe, in adding your own stone to the memorial to the dead of Kinuran, you will find a semblance of peace."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Fri Apr 15, 2022 10:09 pm

"I don't think there's an easy answer to that question.

There's a peace to be found in forgetting what happened on that day. But only at the price of also forgetting the lessons that were learned in the hardest possible way. And I don't take you as a woman that would just choose oblivion over responsibility.

Maybe... Have you tried writing down or recording your testimony of the event? Affixing that recollection into a medium other than your own mind might help freeing your subconscious of feeling it has to repeat the scene again and again to make sure it's not forgotten. No magic there either, but maybe, in adding your own stone to the memorial to the dead of Kinuran, you will find a semblance of peace."

She considered the Kitsu's words slowly and carefully. "That... is not something I'd thought of doing, Kitsu-san. I have relived my memories of that day, hazy as they are, and I have imagined what it must have been for my daughter, for the creatures I was taking care of, for my coworkers, more times than I can possibly count. But... I'm not used at all to writing about my feelings. Or myself. I wonder if I could do it..."

She seems to actually consider the possibility, though.

"I wonder... how could I even start.", she says, not quite looking at Kanna. "Kitsu-san has said you are in the press, yeah? Have you ever... had to do something of the kind, Kitsu-san? Write about your own sadness? Or... that of others?"

"Unsurprisingly, it's also complicated.

You have to realize, most journalistic interviews are courtly games. A polite exchange, where one side obtains publicity and the other receives support for a particular narrative, following a precise set of rules, with brief sentences, back-and-forth, bon mots.

It's just not an appropriate format for an extensive retelling of a traumatic event. For such, it has to be your own voice, under your own rules.

The simplest approach would be unedited recording. Speaking into a microphone for as long as you feel like you need to. If you've got an artistic fiber, you might find it easier to externalize your experience through your medium of choice instead, in entirety or as a complement: writing, drawing, etc.

Any help my job experience could provide would only be of the technical variety: Setting up a room for clean recording, help keeping tracks of the subject you've already talked about and not. But all the hard work will lie solely on your shoulders."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Sun Apr 17, 2022 11:28 am

"Unsurprisingly, it's also complicated.

You have to realize, most journalistic interviews are courtly games. A polite exchange, where one side obtains publicity and the other receives support for a particular narrative, following a precise set of rules, with brief sentences, back-and-forth, bon mots.

It's just not an appropriate format for an extensive retelling of a traumatic event. For such, it has to be your own voice, under your own rules.

The simplest approach would be unedited recording. Speaking into a microphone for as long as you feel like you need to. If you've got an artistic fiber, you might find it easier to externalize your experience through your medium of choice instead, in entirety or as a complement: writing, drawing, etc.

Any help my job experience could provide would only be of the technical variety: Setting up a room for clean recording, help keeping tracks of the subject you've already talked about and not. But all the hard work will lie solely on your shoulders."

"Ah... I don't know much about the intricacies of the press myself, as you can imagine, Kitsu-san. But I had the impression you had more space for your own perception of things, at least in some articles." She shakes her head slightly. "I suppose that was a naïve thought"

She then seems to consider the Kitsu's suggestions with interest. "I... thank you kindly for your suggestions, Kitsu-san. I wonder if I could do something like that. My impressions and expressions... as a biologist and a researcher, I'm used to them being mostly about creatures, their environment, what makes them up. Life as such, even."

A dry laugh.

"It's a bit of an irony, isn't it? A life dedicated to life, but so marked by death." A smirk of sorts. "I suppose that could be a topic in itself. That, and..."

She looks down at the water, then back to Kanna. "Have you seen others do it, or helped others through... something like this, Kitsu-san?" Some time goes by before she finds words for the next part. "I wonder if... if I would write, or record, something, I feel it should have something to do with these topics. Life. Death. Memory. Maybe... some sort of rebirth."

The Sanctuary was named after the fortune of Rebirth, after all - "Tsukune's hope of rebirth", more exactly.

"Maybe... Memory as rebirth, even" She grins slightly, then shakes her head slowly. "I... sorry, Kitsu-san. I'm just rambling. I... am glad for your help, though."

A slight smile, then she speaks again, as if trying to steer the topic so as not to trouble the Lion further. "Ah... have you found interesting topics for your work here, then?"

"How to explain it... Maybe it can help to envision journalistic articles as commissioned paintings. You have some leniency in technique, style, colors, but must for the most part abide by a specific framework. Format and subject are imposed, as is the general impression the picture must give: Beauty, might, nostalgia, etc.

Art is born from constraints and a masterpiece can still come out of this process nonetheless. But it's not nearly as flexible a medium as it might appear from the outside.

To put it bluntly, if I was to write a professional article about Kinuran, it would require a political charge to get published. For example, as an argument to support a petition before the Throne to close a similar furnace on a Mantis world."

Kanna pondered on her own words for an instant.

"But that's not the actual reason I'm unwilling to take a more active role. A lot of journalists have under their belt a few books that are not as tied up by the political realities of the moment. Lengthy investigations, essays, fictions even. They're more akin to pet projects that happen to make use of their work skill set than part of their work proper sure, but they do exist. I could very much write a book about Kinuran that was more of an objective retelling of what happened here and its consequences.

The priests' daughter in me however is aware that objective accumulation of facts does little to appease of the spirits, of both the living and the dead. Such a book might be objectively useful, by helping bettering safety protocols. But to heal the soul, you need something crafted from the soul, not from the mind. And my soul is distant from all these events, while yours is drowned in it."

A frustration buried deep within Kanna's mind poked out for just an instant:

"A Kitsu priest might have been able to use their powers to close that gap, look at the scars of your soul directly, and offer far more accurate and apt guidance about how to heal them. But I'm no priest."

And then it was promptly buried back where it belonged as if nothing had happened:

"Rebirth's a good subject indeed. As is any that would have come naturally to you. If you soul told you this was the way before your mind could even properly think about it, then the right way it is."

She shrugged, mentally and literally, at the obvious change in topic.

"Complicated. There are quite a number of interesting people on planets. But the adequation with what Ikoma press expects of these interviews is not obvious. Outside of a shiotome that fits well with the canon of our own Lion's Pride, what is an act of exception for another clan might not resonate as well within the Lion."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 18, 2022 12:37 pm

Snip

The Soshi heard the Kitsu with great attention, nodding thoughtfully at each stop in her words. "I... think I understand, Kitsu-san. I'd never thought of jounalism as an art form in that sense, but the way you put it, it makes great sense. And... it would make more sense, if this is to heal scars, or even only deal with emotions, for it to be done by one who is... drowned in it, as you say". Her face seems heavy with the meaning of that, but only for a moment.

It's in that moment that she tilts her head slightly, perhaps feeling some of the Lion's scars showing as well. But she makes only a short comment on that "I... trust there's more to healing than spiritual matters, though. I'm a priest myself, in training, and yet..." a slight smile. "Sometimes words heal more than traditional rituals... and not all rituals require speaking directly to the spirits, ne?"

She then seems to ponder on what the Kitsu said about the expectations of her employer.

"I... imagine these must be exacting standards. But even so, I suppose it's not only stories of the most grandiose and flawless heroes the Ikoma Press publishes? I'd think... sometimes seemingly minor things can be heroic depending on the circumstances, no?"

"Oh, it's not so much the scope of their achievements that matters here. The issue is in the compromises with bushido that show up here and there in their stories. There can be greatness in even the most mundane of deeds. But to be a honorary Lion hero, you need a morality on par with what is expected of any Lion, great or small.

For example, you can be the best cop in all the realm, if your successes have been built upon a pyramid of lies, shady deals, and other small arrangements of that nature, even if only the 'bad guys' have been harmed that way, you won't find a way into our pages under a favorable light.

As you can imagine, this makes finding good subjects within the Pincers clans a delicate matter."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 19, 2022 10:37 am

"Oh, it's not so much the scope of their achievements that matters here. The issue is in the compromises with bushido that show up here and there in their stories. There can be greatness in even the most mundane of deeds. But to be a honorary Lion hero, you need a morality on par with what is expected of any Lion, great or small.

For example, you can be the best cop in all the realm, if your successes have been built upon a pyramid of lies, shady deals, and other small arrangements of that nature, even if only the 'bad guys' have been harmed that way, you won't find a way into our pages under a favorable light.

As you can imagine, this makes finding good subjects within the Pincers clans a delicate matter."

The Scorpion nodded slowly. "Mhm. I could see why, our peoples do have different perspectives on a number of things." A slight smile. "That Kitsu-san tries to find such heroes among our people, however, is a compliment in itself."

Usual Scorpion courtesanship? Honest words? An attempt at what could be a blossoming friendship?

Could be any of the above. Perhaps more than one.

"Hey, I know my history. Your clan can birth pretty honorable people and had had its fair share of heroes by all standards through its history.

You just seem to have a sort of collective amnesia about the lessons they taught you, and, for those of these who achieved a position of power, the prosperity the Scorpion achieved under their rule."

A true statement in absolute, though more likely because 3,000 years of history was a long enough period of time for this to have happened several times than because good guys were inherently good administrators too.

"Thankfully the Ikoma archives are here to help with that cognitive lapse. The Lion doesn't forget."

Kitsu Kanna wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 20, 2022 8:38 am

"Hey, I know my history. Your clan can birth pretty honorable people and had had its fair share of heroes by all standards through its history.

You just seem to have a sort of collective amnesia about the lessons they taught you, and, for those of these who achieved a position of power, the prosperity the Scorpion achieved under their rule."

A true statement in absolute, though more likely because 3,000 years of history was a long enough period of time for this to have happened several times than because good guys were inherently good administrators too.

"Thankfully the Ikoma archives are here to help with that cognitive lapse. The Lion doesn't forget."

Kioku seems interested in what Kanna says, although her tilting her head as she speaks suggests she may never have considered parts of it.

"That is an interesting point, Kitsu-san. I cannot say I'm a specialist in the history of the Empire or my clan, unfortunately, but I do know the stories of at least some of our heroes. The festival a week ago helps us remember that every year as well", she adds with a smile.

"But then, your last words... there is true wisdom in that. And... I feel it ties with what we were speaking about. The empire, and each of the clans, should never forget their past - to do so is to risk making the same mistakes. But, as individuals... should a person ever forget parts of the past? Could a person do it?"