[D6, EN] Yakitori & Beer

[Kaiu Setsu]

It is never to late to actually refresh oneself from a busy day of work. A real refreshment. Somewhere courtly manners are overlooked and the real intent of people is much more sincere. Lazy even. Setsu makes his way to the habitation district to stop at one of his favorite sports in town –– even if he wasn't that much liked, his koku surely was.

He asks the waiter for a beer and a well roasted yakitori.

[Hato]

It is never to late to actually refresh oneself from a busy day of work. A real refreshment. Somewhere courtly manners are overlooked and the real intent of people is much more sincere. Lazy even. Setsu makes his way to the habitation district to stop at one of his favorite sports in town –– even if he wasn't that much liked, his koku surely was.

He asks the waiter for a beer and a well roasted yakitori.

Or to refresh oneself before work even. Hato was on her way to work when she saw a familiar, yet foreign face head into a resteraunts. This was not the smiling Crab with the giant bottle of sake at the festival, or the bemasked and tuxedo'd man with the bag of rice crackers and a love for spy films.

It was as if the World of Dreams had taken that smiling free spirit, compressed him with a mallet and poured him into a business suit and a frown.

It was an especially bad idea to go talk to him. If she got caught, it wasn't going to take a Kituki sleuth to think to talk to those who she'd been seen talking to beforehand.

But while Hato was no shining paragon of honor, it didn't mean she could ignore someone in need of aid so plainly.

With a small sigh, she made her way into the resteraunt and over to Setsu's table.

She offered a deep bow.

"Good evening, this one hopes it finds you well." she offered politely.

[Kaiu Setsu]

"Good evening, this one hopes it finds you well." she offered politely.

Surprised to hear a familiar voice, Setsu turns the revolving seat back and tries to put his best smile for the occasion, which wasn't that great after such a busy day. He really tries, though, as he thinks well of Hato and the work he heard she's doing. With a seated bow, he offers, "Evening, Hato-san. Things could always go better, of course. Hope is the last one to die, after all."

He gestures to the empty seat at his side –– as the poeple from that area definitely avoided to be nearby –– and continues, "Care to share some beer and skewers with me?"

[Hato]

Surprised to hear a familiar voice, Setsu turns the revolving seat back and tries to put his best smile for the occasion, which wasn't that great after such a busy day. He really tries, though, as he thinks well of Hato and the work he heard she's doing. With a seated bow, he offers, "Evening, Hato-san. Things could always go better, of course. Hope is the last one to die, after all."

He gestures to the empty seat at his side –– as the poeple from that area definitely avoided to be nearby –– and continues, "Care to share some beer and skewers with me?"

Hato bowed deeply.

"This one would be honored to share skewers with Lord Crab, though this one must respectfully decline the beer. This one is working late tonight. This one is certain that Lord Crab has worked all through the night before on critical project so hopefully Lord Crab will not be too disappointed." she offered.

[Kaiu Setsu]

Hato bowed deeply.

"This one would be honored to share skewers with Lord Crab, though this one must respectfully decline the beer. This one is working late tonight. This one is certain that Lord Crab has worked all through the night before on critical project so hopefully Lord Crab will not be too disappointed." she offered.

"Me?" He asks pointing to himself, "Disappointed with you?" Setsu chuckles and mentions, "Much on the contraty, I believe. The comments I am hearing about Hato-san's skills and her behavior are nothing short of admirable."

[Hato]

"Me?" He asks pointing to himself, "Disappointed with you?" Setsu chuckles and mentions, "Much on the contraty, I believe. The comments I am hearing about Hato-san's skills and her behavior are nothing short of admirable."

Hato sits and bows at the compliment.

"Ah...and yet...forgive this one is they are mistaken. But there seems to be something troubling Lord Crab. Have the online trolls escalated their attacks upon Lord Crab's noble self?" she asked.

[Kaiu Setsu]

Hato sits and bows at the compliment.

"Ah...and yet...forgive this one is they are mistaken. But there seems to be something troubling Lord Crab. Have the online trolls escalated their attacks upon Lord Crab's noble self?" she asked.

"Oh! Tomorrow they will. They just had more important people to talk about today." He laughs a bit and orders more yakitori and sizzling water to Hato –– not that she asked for the water. "But yeah, I am sort of troubled, but that's kind of part of the plan. Something I learned with our allies the Scorpion: that is way more effective to ask for forgiveness than for permission."

[Hato]

"Oh! Tomorrow they will. They just had more important people to talk about today." He laughs a bit and orders more yakitori and sizzling water to Hato –– not that she asked for the water. "But yeah, I am sort of troubled, but that's kind of part of the plan. Something I learned with our allies the Scorpion: that is way more effective to ask for forgiveness than for permission."

Hato furrowed her brow at the Crab's words.

"If it is your will to be troubled, Lord Crab, this one will not oppose it. But....just know that this one is happy to support Lord Crab in his efforts, whenever this one can." she offered, somewhat concerned at the Crab's words.

[Kaiu Setsu]

Hato furrowed her brow at the Crab's words.

"If it is your will to be troubled, Lord Crab, this one will not oppose it. But....just know that this one is happy to support Lord Crab in his efforts, whenever this one can." she offered, somewhat concerned at the Crab's words.

The Kaiu nods and takes a bite from one of the skewers. After chewing and savoring, he mentions, with a good hint of satisfaction, "It is kind of my duty, but don't worry Hato-san, you're supporting me more than you would ever imagine. You and our lovely friend angry doll-face."

A sip of the beer. Setsu smirks and politely requests, "Just don't mention I called her that. She's not the kind of person that takes jokes, or compliments for that matter, lightly."

[Hato]

The Kaiu nods and takes a bite from one of the skewers. After chewing and savoring, he mentions, with a good hint of satisfaction, "It is kind of my duty, but don't worry Hato-san, you're supporting me more than you would ever imagine. You and our lovely friend angry doll-face."

A sip of the beer. Setsu smirks and politely requests, "Just don't mention I called her that. She's not the kind of person that takes jokes, or compliments for that matter, lightly."

If Hato was surprised at the off-handed strike to the Kuni, she didn't show it.

"If Lord Crab would care to share a joke with this one, this one has been told they can take one with adeptness." she said, helping herself to the yakitori. Food was food after all.

[Kaiu Setsu]

If Hato was surprised at the off-handed strike to the Kuni, she didn't show it.

"If Lord Crab would care to share a joke with this one, this one has been told they can take one with adeptness." she said, helping herself to the yakitori. Food was food after all.

"Alright." He takes another sip of the beer, and recounts, "Akahige Taii-sama was a famous captain known for wearing a red kimono and nothing else when he would board enemy ships. Many thought he did that to honor his ex-Scorpion wife, others that he did so to mourn for his long dead Phoenix ancestors. One day, though, one of his skippers asked him, 'Akahige Taii-sama, why do you always ask for your red kimono before we to go battle?', and he replied, 'I do so to inspire our crew. If I get shot, no one will notice and morale will be kept high until the very end'."

Setsu inflates his chest, trying to mimic the captain's greatness with the yakitori stick protruding from his mouth, and he continues, "One day, Akahige's ship detected an odd signal popping up at their screen. After a quick analysis, the same skipper came running to his captain to relay the dire news, 'Akahige Taii-sama, please, forgive this one, but I believe we have been surrounded by Kuni ships. They just popped up in our system out of nowhere'."

The Crab slams the table and looks up to waiter as if he was the skipper, and says, as if he was the Akahige himself, "Fast, my brave skipper. Fetch me my brown hakama!"

[Hato]

"Alright." He takes another sip of the beer, and recounts, "Akahige Taii-sama was a famous captain known for wearing a red kimono and nothing else when he would board enemy ships. Many thought he did that to honor his ex-Scorpion wife, others that he did so to mourn for his long dead Phoenix ancestors. One day, though, one of his skippers asked him, 'Akahige Taii-sama, why do you always ask for your red kimono before we to go battle?', and he replied, 'I do so to inspire our crew. If I get shot, no one will notice and morale will be kept high until the very end'."

Setsu inflates his chest, trying to mimic the captain's greatness with the yakitori stick protruding from his mouth, and he continues, "One day, Akahige's ship detected an odd signal popping up at their screen. After a quick analysis, the same skipper came running to his captain to relay the dire news, 'Akahige Taii-sama, please, forgive this one, but I believe we have been surrounded by Kuni ships. They just popped up in our system out of nowhere'."

The Crab slams the table and looks up to waiter as if he was the skipper, and says, as if he was the Akahige himself, "Fast, my brave skipper. Fetch me my brown hakama!"

It was an joke as old as ships, but the energy the Kaiu put into it brought a smile to Hato's face.

"Very amusing, Lord Crab. she said actually amused. "If this one may repay with this joke, 'How many monks does it take to change a lightbulb?"

[Kaiu Setsu]

It was an joke as old as ships, but the energy the Kaiu put into it brought a smile to Hato's face.

"Very amusing, Lord Crab. she said actually amused. "If this one may repay with this joke, 'How many monks does it take to change a lightbulb?"

He rubs his chin, “I would say… it doesn’t matter how many you think. They insist they are Four Temple monks?”

[Hato]

It was an joke as old as ships, but the energy the Kaiu put into it brought a smile to Hato's face.

"Very amusing, Lord Crab. she said actually amused. "If this one may repay with this joke, 'How many monks does it take to change a lightbulb?"

He rubs his chin, “I would say… it doesn’t matter how many you think. They insist they are Four Temple monks?”

Hato shook her head.

"A clever answer, Lord Crab, but the answer this one was looking for is....."

She paused a moment for a bit of yakitori.

"The plum tree grows in the courtyard."

[Kaiu Setsu]

Hato shook her head.

"A clever answer, Lord Crab, but the answer this one was looking for is....."

She paused a moment for a bit of yakitori.

"The plum tree grows in the courtyard."

“Fucking monks… and kenku.” He scoffs and smirks thinking about her joke.

A moment and he raises a finger, “Alright. There was a Lion, a Crane, a Crab and a Ronin samurai in the train going south of Kaiu Kabe back in Rokugan. In the middle of the trip, the Lion samurai takes a big onigiri from his pocket, bites it and then throws the rice cake out of the window. The Crane samurai, willing to take a bite for himself asked the Lion: Why did you throw it away after just one bite?”

Setsu takes a bite out of another yakitori and plays it out as the Lion would reply with food in his mouth, “The Lion answered: Hah! We are full of rice back in my land. I don’t really need to spare that.”

He narrows his eyes and assumes a different facial expression, saying, “Frustrated with such a waste, but specially with the Lion’s arrogance, the Crane samurai takes a big piece of tuna from his bag, takes a bite and then throws the rest out of the window.”

Retuning with another facial expression he continues, “The Ronin, indeed wanting to bite at good sashimi asks, politely: Why did Crane-sama throw the fish away — was it rotten?”

With a posh expression in his face, he plays the Crane, explaining, “The nerve. Why, of course, we are full of fish back in my land. I don’t really need to spare that.”

Setsu quickly moves his arms to gesture the movement and says, “Suddenly, the Crab samurai slaps the Lion in the face, then the Crane and throws both out of the window.”

[Hato]

“Effing monks… and Kenku.” He scoffs and smirks thinking about her joke.

A moment and he raises a finger, “Alright. There was a Lion, a Crane, a Crab and a Ronin samurai in the train going south of Kaiu Kabe back in Rokugan. In the middle of the trip, the Lion samurai takes a big onigiri from his pocket, bites it and then throws the rice cake out of the window. The Crane samurai, willing to take a bite for himself asked the Lion: Why did you throw it away after just one bite?”

Setsu takes a bite out of another yakitori and plays it out as the Lion would reply with food in his mouth, “The Lion answered: Hah! We are full of rice back in my land. I don’t really need to spare that.”

He narrows his eyes and assumes a different facial expression, saying, “Frustrated with such a waste, but specially with the Lion’s arrogance, the Crane samurai takes a big piece of tuna from his bag, takes a bite and then throws the rest out of the window.”

Retuning with another facial expression he continues, “The Ronin, indeed wanting to bite at good sashimi asks, politely: Why did Crane-sama throw the fish away — was it rotten?”

Withal posh expression in his face, he plays the Crane, explaining, “The nerve. Why, of course, we are full of fish back in my land. I don’t really need to spare that.”

Setsu quickly moves his arms to gesture the movement and says, “Suddenly, the Crab samurai slaps the Lion in the face, then the Crane and throws both out of the window.”

That got a genuine laugh out of Hato. It was a quite the clever restructuring of an older joke with the audience in mind. Probably not a joke to tell around Lion or Crane, but a good one for Crab and ronin. Hato considered, and reponded.


"Long ago, back when the Empire was still but one planet, a Crab lord conducted Winter Court at his estate near the Spine of the World mountains. His court was beset however, by four very quarlesome guests: a Shosuro, a Doji, an Isawa, and an Ikoma. Every day the four would bicker and argue over which clan's samurai were superior.

Finally, the Crab lord had enough 'You all claim that your clan produces the superior samurai?" he asked the four before the open court.

They all nodded.

"Then I put this challenge to you. You have no doubt noticed the tall mountain near my estate. Atop that mountain are boulders the size of oxen. If you would prove that your clan produces the superior samurai, fetch me a rock from atop the mountain and bring it to this estate by tomorrow.'

The four paled a bit. Their honor would not let them refuse such a challenge, it would be to admit that their words had no weight. And so they all agreed, although the Ikoma asked for access to the lord's library, which he was granted.

The Crab lord slept well that night, untroubled by bickering samurai, confident that on the morrow they would all be properly shamed and more respectful guests through the court.

Upon arising the next day and departing his chambers, the Lord encountered an alarming sight The Shosuro, breathing heavily, was propped up against a boulder the size of an ox, and the boulder was covered with blood and broken weapons were sticking out of it.

"How did you retrieve the boulder, Shosuro-san?" he asked, unsure of how the Scorpion had accomplished the task.

"The Emperor may ask the Scorpion clan to accomplish any task, but the Emperor does not ask the Scorpion how they accomplish their task." the Shosuro gasped.

Shaking his head, the Crab lord went out into the garden, where he saw a truly baffling sight. The Doji was sitting in the garden opposite of a boulder the size of an ox with a tea set between them.

"How did YOU fetch the boulder, Doji-san?" the Crab lord remarked baffled at how such a slight and slim courtier could accomplish such a task.

"Oh, well I wrote a letter to the boulder, Crab-sama, which started off a long series of correspondence discussing how well our parents got along, and how fortuitous it would be were the boulder to join me for tea this morning, and it rolled itself here." she explained sweetly.

Shaking his head as if still dreaming, the Crab lord went to the temple. There he witnessed the Isawa stagger out of the temple, and collapsed to his knees. Shortly there was a whistling sound which was then followed by a large explosion as a boulder the size of an ox violently embedded itself in the temple steps.

"How...did you fetch the boulder, Isawa-san?" the Crab asked, surveying the damage.

"I have been praying to the earth kami all night long, and this morning they answers my prayers as the mountain kami threw the boulder here." the Isawa whispered.

Somewhat awed by this display of elemental affinity, The Crab lord made his way to the library. There he was the Ikoma.....and no boulder.

"Ah, Ikoma-san, I see you have no boulder." The Crab lord said with a smile. It seemed at least one member of the winter court would be humbled from their bickering and arguing.

"That is true, my lord." the Ikoma agreed holding out a scroll. "However, if you are evaluating which clan has the superior samurai, I thought it might interest you to know who it was who put those boulders on top of the mountain in the first place."


Hato did her best to add relish to the joke by doing the voices for it, a gruff Crab lord, a secretive Shosuro, a genle doji, an arrogant Isawa, and a know it all Ikoma.

[Kaiu Setsu]

That got a genuine laugh out of Hato. It was a quite the clever restructuring of an older joke with the audience in mind. Probably not a joke to tell around Lion or Crane, but a good one for Crab and ronin. Hato considered, and reponded.


"Long ago, back when the Empire was still but one planet, a Crab lord conducted Winter Court at his estate near the Spine of the World mountains. His court was beset however, by four very quarlesome guests: a Shosuro, a Doji, an Isawa, and an Ikoma. Every day the four would bicker and argue over which clan's samurai were superior.

Finally, the Crab lord had enough 'You all claim that your clan produces the superior samurai?" he asked the four before the open court.

They all nodded.

"Then I put this challenge to you. You have no doubt noticed the tall mountain near my estate. Atop that mountain are boulders the size of oxen. If you would prove that your clan produces the superior samurai, fetch me a rock from atop the mountain and bring it to this estate by tomorrow.'

The four paled a bit. Their honor would not let them refuse such a challenge, it would be to admit that their words had no weight. And so they all agreed, although the Ikoma asked for access to the lord's library, which he was granted.

The Crab lord slept well that night, untroubled by bickering samurai, confident that on the morrow they would all be properly shamed and more respectful guests through the court.

Upon arising the next day and departing his chambers, the Lord encountered an alarming sight The Shosuro, breathing heavily, was propped up against a boulder the size of an ox, and the boulder was covered with blood and broken weapons were sticking out of it.

"How did you retrieve the boulder, Shosuro-san?" he asked, unsure of how the Scorpion had accomplished the task.

"The Emperor may ask the Scorpion clan to accomplish any task, but the Emperor does not ask the Scorpion how they accomplish their task." the Shosuro gasped.

Shaking his head, the Crab lord went out into the garden, where he saw a truly baffling sight. The Doji was sitting in the garden opposite of a boulder the size of an ox with a tea set between them.

"How did YOU fetch the boulder, Doji-san?" the Crab lord remarked baffled at how such a slight and slim courtier could accomplish such a task.

"Oh, well I wrote a letter to the boulder, Crab-sama, which started off a long series of correspondence discussing how well our parents got along, and how fortuitous it would be were the boulder to join me for tea this morning, and it rolled itself here." she explained sweetly.

Shaking his head as if still dreaming, the Crab lord went to the temple. There he witnessed the Isawa stagger out of the temple, and collapsed to his knees. Shortly there was a whistling sound which was then followed by a large explosion as a boulder the size of an ox violently embedded itself in the temple steps.

"How...did you fetch the boulder, Isawa-san?" the Crab asked, surveying the damage.

"I have been praying to the earth kami all night long, and this morning they answers my prayers as the mountain kami threw the boulder here." the Isawa whispered.

Somewhat awed by this display of elemental affinity, The Crab lord made his way to the library. There he was the Ikoma.....and no boulder.

"Ah, Ikoma-san, I see you have no boulder." The Crab lord said with a smile. It seemed at least one member of the winter court would be humbled from their bickering and arguing.

"That is true, my lord." the Ikoma agreed holding out a scroll. "However, if you are evaluating which clan has the superior samurai, I thought it might interest you to know who it was who put those boulders on top of the mountain in the first place."


Hato did her best to add relish to the joke by doing the voices for it, a gruff Crab lord, a secretive Shosuro, a genle doji, an arrogant Isawa, and a know it all Ikoma.

Setsu smiles at the clever joke and nods a couple of times while taking a sip to sink it all in. Then, he comments, "I do like the Ikoma's way of thinking. Poor Crab lord, having troublemakers such as those in his castle."

He takes a bite of the yakitori and tells another joke, "Once upon a time, there was this very important Kaiu Engineer, a brilliant man that made the world a much better place through his technological advancements in computing. He had a happy marriage and was blessed with a small child which he cared until the kid was ten years old. Unfortunately, being such an important man, his child was kidnapped by the Clan's enemies, and the Kaiu became a sad, yet rich and powerful man."

Another sip of his beer, and the Crab tells more, "Several years later, in his deathbed, this magnificent Kaiu genius of technology received a message saying that his child was still alive, and that his legacy could continue. Yet, the Crab, always skeptical of the enemy, wouldn't trust his inheritance without proper proof. So, he called the supposed child to come to his place for a final test before he would accept that grown person as heir to his technological fortune."

A pause for gravitas and he continues, "So the old man asked: 'If you're the rightful heir of the technology of the Kaiu Family, taught since child all the programming and coding skills of our school, count to ten."

Setsu takes another moment and stars with his hand, "One, two..."

"Stop! Said the old man: 'This is not my child'." The Crab says suddenly after.

[Hato]

Setsu smiles at the clever joke and nods a couple of times while taking a sip to sink it all in. Then, he comments, "I do like the Ikoma's way of thinking. Poor Crab lord, having troublemakers such as those in his castle."

He takes a bite of the yakitori and tells another joke, "Once upon a time, there was this very important Kaiu Engineer, a brilliant man that made the world a much better place through his technological advancements in computing. He had a happy marriage and was blessed with a small child which he cared until the kid was ten years old. Unfortunately, being such an important man, his child was kidnapped by the Clan's enemies, and the Kaiu became a sad, yet rich and powerful man."

Another sip of his beer, and the Crab tells more, "Several years later, in his deathbed, this magnificent Kaiu genius of technology received a message saying that his child was still alive, and that his legacy could continue. Yet, the Crab, always skeptical of the enemy, wouldn't trust his inheritance without proper proof. So, he called the supposed child to come to his place for a final test before he would accept that grown person as heir to his technological fortune."

A pause for gravitas and he continues, "So the old man asked: 'If you're the rightful heir of the technology of the Kaiu Family, taught since child all the programming and coding skills of our school, count to ten."

Setsu takes another moment and stars with his hand, "One, two..."

"Stop! Said the old man: 'This is not my child'." The Crab says suddenly after.

Hato had been listening to the joke intently, but the exclamation of the old man caught her off guard. She took a sip of her water while she waited to see if the Kaiu was simply pausing for effect, because she truly doubted the punchline of the joike was that a Crab couldn't count to ten.

[Kaiu Setsu]

Hato had been listening to the joke intently, but the exclamation of the old man caught her off guard. She took a sip of her water while she waited to see if the Kaiu was simply pausing for effect, because she truly doubted the punchline of the joike was that a Crab couldn't count to ten.

"Programming requires counting with zeroes before ones." He mentions, a bit disappointed with himself his joke wasn't fully understood. He does laugh a bit at his own expense.

[Hato]

Hato had been listening to the joke intently, but the exclamation of the old man caught her off guard. She took a sip of her water while she waited to see if the Kaiu was simply pausing for effect, because she truly doubted the punchline of the joike was that a Crab couldn't count to ten.

"Programming requires counting with zeroes before ones." He mentions, a bit disappointed with himself his joke wasn't fully understood. He does laugh a bit at his own expense.

"Ahhhhh" Hato said as the joke clicked into place in her mind.

"Apologies Lord Crab. This one became too focused on Lord Crab's storytelling. The punchline was so fast and sneaky, this one was totally caught off guard." she admitted. "This is truly a fault within the listener, not the performer."

Feeling an imbalance and not wanting to let atmosphere be ruined, she tried another approach.

"A computer programmer walks into a bar.

He orders one sake.
He orders two sake.
He orders three sake.
He orders one hundred sake.
He orders ten thousand sake
He orders negative one sake.
He orders red sake.

Satisfied, he leaves the bar.

A computer user enters the bar and asks where the bathroom is.

The bar explodes."